


Captions: Off

by wuyifantastic



Category: EXO (Band)
Genre: Deaf Character, Discrimination, I thought of this while watching juniel's vid for illa illa, M/M, Soulmate AU, Yifan is a dick sorry, bc that vid breaks my heart, not really that sorry even tho i love wyf w all my heart, so i made a happy one, tattoo soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-12-31
Updated: 2017-02-10
Packaged: 2018-09-13 16:51:26
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 15,399
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/9132904
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/wuyifantastic/pseuds/wuyifantastic
Summary: Zitao doesn't believe in fate or its silly games. Or, maybe he does.





	1. Flower Boy

**Author's Note:**

> i've tried.

At the age of 16 and every year afterward, Zitao is under the assumption that he just doesn't have a soulmate. It's not that he's pessimistic, he just has nothing on his wrist where the words are supposed to be. Instead of being branded with black ink at the stroke of midnight on his sixteenth birthday, Zitao had stared for hours as his tanned skin remained disappointingly unmarred. 

The disappointment worsened when he woke up and there was still nothing. 

Throughout the years following, Zitao's disappointment faded to nothing. In fact, he's almost glad he hadn't gotten a mark, even if he'd like to know why he didn't. It gives him a chance to fall in love naturally. And he doesn't have to go through the mini heart attack Jongin goes through every time a stranger said, 'excuse me.' 

Soulmate marks were, in fact, a hinderance to true love rather than an aid. It's what Zitao has come to the conclusion of since he hadn't been graced with one. 

Zitao still covers his wrist like most everyone else does, just so he doesn't get the inevitable questioning eyes or concerned faces. He's even been met with sympathy and disappointment. 

Zitao does not get the hype about soul mates. He doesn't need a brand to let him know who he can fall in love with. 

It's just, no one gives him the time of day, considering they're obviously not his soul mate. There have been a few people just as disillusioned with the idea of soul mates that he's dated. But it was all just lackluster romance and sex that failed to completely satisfy him. Not to mention the inevitable break ups he's dealt with three times when suddenly his lover had an infinity sign rather than ambiguous words tattooed on their skin. 

On whose part the romance just never felt right, Zitao was never sure. By his third year in college, he was done with dating and soul mates. He doesn't need love to have his life exactly where he wants it to be. And, he has to say, he likes his life very much. 

Every weekday, Zitao starts work at 6:30 in the morning. He gets off at three in the afternoon and heads to class on Monday, Wednesday, Thursday, and Friday. The weekends, he has off to do homework and socialize. He loves this schedule. 

He also loves his major. He plans on helping Joonmyeon more with the business aspect of his cafe when he graduates, considering Joonmyeon is a baker and his math skills are limited to converting ingredient weights and doubling recipes. He loves business, he loves communications and languages. 

Zitao considers himself very versatile, thank you very much. He thanks the fact that he's not obsessed with finding his soulmate. It leaves him more time to focus on what really matters in life: education and a good five-year plan. 

To not have a soulmate is a very freeing thing. 

Zitao's days don't change from day to day, which makes him feel safe, but there's also an anxious undercurrent that is itching for something new. 

It's when the lust for change reaches its peak that a flower shop opens up across the street from Cloud 9, Joonmyeon's cafe. There's hadn't been much of an indication of the office space being rented out when Zitao had left for work the Friday previous, and suddenly, on his way to work on Monday morning, it just materializes. 

The strong smell of flowers wakes him instantly and through the window, at a desk in the corner, Zitao sees a boy. The boy looks about the same age as Zitao, perhaps a little younger. 

He is very cute, is what Zitao thinks. But, he has to be at work. Even if Junmyeon would forgive him for being late, his customers won't like having to wait. Zitao already has to deal with enough grumpy people who can't function before their morning coffee. 

He bustles off, making a note to see the boy after his shift is over. Zitao is outgoing, and he might be a sucker for cute boys. Though, most turn out to not even to be into men. Especially men who don't say the right words when they meet. Zitao, once again having to remind himself that he doesn't want or need anyone in his life romantically, sighs and clocks in. 

A friend would still be nice. He needed more he could actually stand. He really only has Jongin. And Chanyeol when he's not with Baekhyun. 

When Zitao asks Junmyeon about the flowershop, Junmyeon just shrugs. "They set up last night, opened this morning. That's all I know." Zitao groans. Some help his hyung is. 

However, when Zitao heads over to the shop at 3:05pm, the sign on the door reads 'closed'. The boy is there, clipping flowers with a thoughtful look on his face. His lips are pulled down slightly and his brows are furrowed. He looks cute even like this. Zitao watches as the boy brings a bundle of freshly clipped flowers up to his nose and smells. His lips twitch into a smile and Zitao's heart swoops and drops. Zitao, a little startled by the reaction, rushes back off to his class. There's always tomorrow. 

Tomorrow comes, but the sign still reads closed at 3pm when Zitao gets off again. The boy is still arranging flowers. Zitao catches a glimpse of another smile and his heart does that weird thing again. 

The pattern continues, and Zitao doesn't get a chance to talk to the man in the flowershop. 

Saturday, the bell to Junmyeon's coffee shop jingles, "it's not a day off if you come in anyway." Junmyeon calls from where he is replacing muffins into the display case. 

"You can't tell me what to do." Zitao shoots back. Junmyeon just looks at him, because, really, he can. Not only as his boss, but as his older brother. Not by blood, but Junmyeon's family was Zitao's host family during his exchange program to America. From there, he just kind of never left Junmyeon's side. 

"But, really, kid, what are you doing here?" Luhan, the weekend employee on register asks. Zitao doesn't have the heart to protest being called a kid. He honestly feels like one considering he's moping over the man in the flower shop who is beautiful but definitely out of reach. At least that's what fate is surely telling him. 

"Nothing." Zitao sniffs as Luhan takes a large, impolite bite from a double chocolate chunk muffin. 

"Probably about that flowershop kid. He's not in. Or, at least, I haven't seen him." Junmyeon responds, solely responsible for all of Zitao's misery. "The owner is in, though." Junmyeon says this like it would be helpful. It is not helpful. Not one bit. Zitao isn't interested in the middle aged woman. 

The shop was open, but his reason for going in was not there. 

"Flowershop kid? Who's this? Does Zitao have a crush?" Luhan looks like he's just won the lottery, surely already coming up with several ways to tease and embarrass Zitao. 

Yifan walks in for his shift at that moment, and Zitao takes the rest of Luhan's chocolate muffin and stuffs it in his mouth. Luhan yells and Zitao believes the subject to be dropped. 

Until Junmyeon opens his mouth again. "You know he doesn't even know his name? Hasn't even talked to him." Junmyeon's intentions are unclear but he's sure he's doing it on purpose. Zitao groans and Luhan cackles. 

Yifan stops and observes, a smile tugging at the corner of his lips. Zitao sneers at him. "You're obsessing over someone when you don't even know their name?!" Luhan bursts out, wiping tears from his eyes. "You can't even work up the courage to go inside?!" 

Now Yifan is laughing at him. His cheeks burn. "He isn't ever alone and when he is, the shop is closed!" Luhan still looks absolutely amused, and Zitao storms from the shop, throwing Luhan a few rude gestures. 

Zitao arrives safely back at his dorm around three, after picking up several packages of unhealthy snacks to binge on while watching sappy romcoms. To his surprise, Jongin is there, lying on his stomach in bed shirtless. There are white patches on his back. Zitao knows what that means. 

"Waist acting up again?" Zitao asks, setting the bags of junk food on his desk. 

"Yeah." Jongin grunts then buries his face in a pillow. "Did you talk to your flower boy?" Despite their differences (the RA assigned them together because 'you guys all know each other right?' But Zitao was Chinese, dammit), Jongin and Zitao get along great. They're both social butterflies. Jongin is very caring which makes him easy to talk to. Zitao returns the favor for Jongin whenever he needs it. However, Zitao is more business minded and logical. Jongin wants to dance- dreams in contemporary and ballet alike. 

Zitao's lips press together as he sets out the candies and chips. "No, he wasn't there today." 

"Would you have chickened out anyways?" Jongin turns his face and raises his eyebrows at Zitao. "Honestly."

Zitao sighs, and rubs his hands over his face, "probably. It's just... how he makes me feel even when I'm only looking at him through the window. I'm such a creep." Zitao plops back on his bed, arms out wide. "My heart pounds and dips and flips and that's never happened before. It's insane." 

"I don't know what to tell you." Jongin's voice is once again muffled by the pillows. "Except that eventually, if you want to get to the bottom of that feeling, you're going to have to step inside that shop and talk to him."

Zitao can't argue that, so he just opens a bag of shrimp chips and munches thoughtfully. 

And then, Monday, it happens. Zitao is shocked to discover that the sign is still on 'open' at 3pm. Inside, the woman in there, at the register with who Zitao now realizes is her son. 

Zitao checks his watch, he's got a class to get to. He idles outside the door for a few, extremely long moments, and debates. He doesn't have class tomorrow, perhaps he should stop by then. By the looks of it, the boy is being trained to run the register. Hopefully that means that from now on, between the hours of 3 and 5 pm, the shop will be open. 

His heart is beating erratically as he walks away, hoping that tomorrow, he will have both the courage and opportunity to talk to the flower boy. 

Tuesday comes and Zitao takes a deep breath it's a couple minutes before three and the owner of the shop had just stepped out. Currently, Zitao is staring at the letters on the door that confirm the shop is indeed ready to take customers. It's the second day it's been like this, so Zitao takes the chance and walks in. The boy is in there. A bell chimes, but the boy doesn't even look up. Perhaps he's too used to the sound that he doesn't react when it happens. That's Zitao's initial thought anyways.

Zitao approaches. "Hey." He says, expecting a response. Nothing. The boy is still busily working on an arrangement with his back turned to Zitao. 

Eyebrows furrowed, Zitao reaches out to tap the boy on the shoulder. He must jump five feet in the air, a startled gasp erupting from his mouth. His eyes are wide when he turns to Zitao. 

"I'm sorry!" Zitao begins, face burning a little. "I didn't mean to startle you!"

Zitao stops, because the boy just looks very confused, eyes focused on Zitao's lips. Realization dawns on Zitao's face and it makes the boy's next movements for nothing. 

The boy looks ashamed as he motions to his ears and shakes his head. The boy digs in the apron of his work uniform, and pulls out a pad of paper. He doesn't need to write anything down at first, because the first page already has words. 

Zitao's heart lurches painfully. How much must this boy have to do this when he first meets people that he doesn't even bother rewriting the words again. 

_'Hi, I'm Oh Sehun. I'm 22 years old, and I'm deaf.'_ The paper reads. Zitao's eyes flicker to Sehun's. Sehun turns the pad back towards him, flips a page, and scribbles more words. 

_'This is the first time I'm going to be working with customers by myself. Please let me help you with what you need!'_

Zitao only knows Chinese sign language. 

Sehun hands Zitao the paper and pen, offering Zitao the chance to respond if he wanted. Sehun looks expectant, maybe a little hopeful. Shocked, and a little disappointed he hadn't bothered to learn American Sign like he wanted, Zitao isn't sure where to go from here. 

It isn't that he doesn't know how to interact with Sehun, or that he doesn't want to. Sehun is just expecting him as a customer, and Zitao has no interest in flowers. Zitao's only interest had been the fair boy busily arranging flowers in vases and as bouquets and corsages. He definitely had an eye for arrangements and color coordination. 

Sehun's lips pull down slightly and he reaches for the pad of paper again. Zitao relinquishes it as Sehun sighs. It's a quiet noise, like he can't hold it back even though Sehun knows he should. Or he likely didn't realize that Zitao could hear it since Sehun can't hear himself. 

_'My mother, the owner, will be back at five. She can help you then, if you want to come back.'_

Zitao's heart sinks again. Sehun got the wrong idea. Zitao furiously shakes his head, taking the paper and pen back. 

_'Sorry, I just don't know what I'm looking for.'_

Zitao writes, and it's true. Sehun's eyes scan the words, and his face breaks into a wide smile. Zitao smiles back, completely enamored with Sehun already. His heart is going haywire. 

_'Flower expert at your service! Who are you buying for?'_

Zitao mentally panics. He has no one to buy flowers for. He wants to be able to maybe one day buy flowers for Sehun, but that's not appropriate at the moment. Sehun would probably just roll his eyes. Or think he was creepy. He thinks quick, scribbling on the paper. _'A sick friend.'_

Jongin doesn't like flowers, but his waist has been hurting a lot more the closer he gets to his dance showcase as Zitao had witnessed over the weekend. 

_'We have peonies, which are for good health. Yarrows are for healing.'_ Sehun writes, then motions Zitao to follow. The two flowers he points out aren't necessarily glamorous, but he does like the ones labelled Peony better. 

When Zitao points, Sehun beams. He bounces on the balls of his feet. He's obviously excited to be able to help out people on his own rather than make flower arrangements all day. The change of pace must be what Sehun had been wanting and needing for a while. Because of this fact, Zitao feels proud that he's Sehun's first customer. 

Sehun offers a few suggestions on an arrangement, and Zitao, without much fight or thought, agrees. 

Half an hour later, Zitao has a small vase of peonies and other flowers. His wallet is a lot lighter, but the sunshine in Sehun's eyes as he smiled made it worth it. He doesn't have a class today, and when he gets to their dorm, Jongin raises his eyebrows at him. 

"What're those?"

"Flowers." Zitao grunts. 

"For who?"

"You." Zitao sets the vase on Jongin's desk. Maybe now he regrets it a little bit. Once Jongin finds out Zitao chickened out when he was so close, he'd never hear the end of it. 

"Why, Zitao." Jongin sits up from his bed, hands over his heart. "I'm flattered, but I'm afraid I don't return your feelings."

"Shut up, Jongin." Zitao growls, eyes narrowing. "They're peonies, they're for good health since your back's fucked up."

"Awh.." Jongin picks the vase up and sniffs them. "You're so nice."

"It was only to talk to the florist." Zitao interjects before Jongin can start teasing him about it. Jongin already knows it was to talk to the florist. "Turns out, he's deaf." 

"That's great! You know sign language, right?" 

"Not American sign language, you nitwit."

"I thought they were the same." Jongin looks like he's being completely honest and Zitao has to refrain from phsycially smacking his own forehead. He settles for mentally hitting himself. 

"No, they're not." Zitao scratches at the back of his head. "I need to learn. I've been meaning to anyways..."

"How did you learn Chinese sign language?" Jongin asks, picking at the flowers. "Do you mind if I send these to Kyungsoo hyung? They'll die a horrible death if I keep them here." 

"Literally couldn't care any less what you do with the flowers." 

"Neat." Jongin says and, despite the fact that they were sort of in the middle of a conversation, picks the flowers up and heads out the door. 

Prick. 

Zitao tugs at his hair, feeling like maybe he's made a fool of himself today, even though he really hadn't. Zitao thinks back to Jongin's question. How did he learn Chinese sign language? That was his parent's doing. They had taught him from a young age after reading studies that it had boosted intelligence. Not to mention, they worked at a deaf school. 

Zitao isn't sure that the intelligence thing was true, but maybe it was preparing him for meeting Sehun. In a way, that exposure to the Deaf Community and an understanding of offensive behavior. Fate was funny like that. 

Fate played a big role no matter what in their lives, Zitao figured. Not just silly black marks on your wrist. 

Well, Zitao figures it would if Zitao even believed in fate, anyways. 

\--

The next day, Zitao visits again. He has time. Or so he says he does. He has time to at least introduce himself. He had looked up a few of the basics online last night, so he considers using that. But he doesn't want to give Sehun the wrong idea about what he knows, and it would be more a surprise when he becomes fluent and starts communicating with Sehun. 

It's three o'clock, which means Sehun is alone in the shop. There's one woman browsing premade arrangements, but Sehun is busy working on one at his table. 

Zitao approaches and waves, waiting for Sehun's attention to be captured. The hand movement does the trick and Sehun's eyes lift from the flowers to Zitao's face. 

There's another one of those smiles, then Sehun is reaching for his notepad and scribbling on a blank page. 

_'How did your friend like the flowers?'_

Prepared with his own pen and notebook, Zitao leans down and starts writing. He tries to hurry and still make his letters legible, but he isn't used to writing as fast as Sehun does. Especially not in English. 

_'He gave them to his friend to care for so they wouldn't die. But I think he liked them.'_

Sehun laughs, the kind of laugh that is unashamed and unfiltered. Zitao thinks that Sehun must be comfortable with the fact he can't hear how loud he is being. A few kids at his parents' school had been so uncomfortable with the idea, they wouldn't laugh. They wouldn't speak even when their parents pushed them into speech therapy. 

_'Glad i could help. Do you need something today?'_

Here it is. That question. Zitao shakes his head and starts writing in his notepad again. 

_'I came to introduce myself. I'm Zitao. Age 23. I want to be your friend?'_

There. Honesty is the best policy. Straightforward, too. 

When Sehun reads the words, the tips of his ears turn pink. He looks at Zitao, bemused. As if he couldn't understand why someone would want to be his friend. Or maybe he's just confused that his first ever customer is suddenly asking to be his friend. 

Zitao's ears burn now, too. Who asks people if they can be friends?!

Sehun's smile turns a little shy at the edges, but he scribbles on the paper, Zitao's paper this time. 

_'Okay.'_ It says, and then a phone number. 

Zitao practically soars up and crashes through the ceiling on his way into the sun. 

Zitao has to leave for class, regrettably, but he wishes Sehun a good afternoon and writes his number down as well. 

On the walk to campus, Zitao saves Sehun's number with a smiley face. He wants to put a heart, but that might be a little too serious for the time being. Not to mention how much teasing he would get if anyone saw. 

Conversation with Sehun turns out to be easy. Sehun replies promptly and Zitao feels a bit guilty when he can only text between classes. He believes Sehun understands. Especially when Sehun takes an interest in his Business major and World Communications minor. 

Zitao, however, is a bit too afraid of asking Sehun if he wanted to hang out outside of quick meetings in Sehun's mom's flowershop. 

The weekend comes, which means Zitao is off work and off classes. He's very lucky Junmyeon gave Zitao the freedom to choose when he wanted to work. So, like any normal college kid, he decided he wanted the weekends off. Not that any of that time off was spent partying. Not lately, anyways. Not since he's given up on the idea of having a romantic partner. 

He takes the time off to stop by the city's sign language and Deaf Community center to see if they had classes. Free or not, Zitao's got the money saved up to pay for them. Not that Junmyeon pays terribly well, but Zitao's always been smart with his cash. Not to mention Junmyeon's parents spoiled him, so he could ask whenever he wanted for money. His own parents, even, have a tendency to spoil Zitao. 

He seems to have struck gold when he arrives, he finds out that there is indeed a class on Saturday mornings. He's an hour and thirty minutes early for it, however. He asks for other resources at the information desk after that he purchases a couple dictionaries and textbooks. He studies them until the class starts. 

\--

"You're pretty serious about this, huh?" Yifan asks, Starbucks in hand. Zitao scowls, he considers Starbucks a direct rival to his precious brother's cafe. As an employee of Junmyeon's cafe, Zitao would have thought Yifan had a little more respect. Apparently not. 

Then again, it might not just be the Starbucks Zitao is upset about. Many things about Yifan make Zitao's skin crawl. 

"Serious about what?" Zitao says, turning his eyes back to the page and trying to figure out the illustration of the particular sign. It's Zitao's break time on Monday morning, the first time Zitao has seen any of them since Friday. Yifan had just arrived on shift. 

"Getting in this deaf guy's pants."

"His name is Sehun, please don't just refer to him as 'that deaf guy', it's fuckin' rude." Zitao snaps, mostly just on reflex considering he's dealt with this same type of insensitivity while he had grown up with his parents and their pupils.

Yifan sips his drink, and shrugs. "So, Sehun, then. What would you do if he isn't into guys?"

"I'm not doing it just to date him or have sex with him, Yifan. Haven't you just wanted to be someone's friend?" Zitao hisses out, shutting his book. He wants to shove that blasted Starbucks cup down the blond's throat. 

"But he's deaf. This is a long way to go just because you want to be someone's friend." 

Zitao, nearly not wanting to dignify that with a response, just pinches the bridge of his nose for a moment. "What makes the difference? Besides, we can communicate without sign language, and become friends that way. I wanted to talk to him and become friends with him before, so why does him being unable to hear me speak make any difference?"

Yifan pipes down then, even if he doesn't look totally convinced. Zitao rolls his eyes. It didn't matter. Yifan specifically was banned from ever meeting Sehun. Not that Zitao ever wanted to share Sehun's personal sunshine with someone like Yifan anyway. 

"Hey guys!" Yixing waves with both hands before sitting down. "What's up?" Yixing eyes the books Zitao has spread over the cafe table curiously. 

Yixing. Sweet Yixing would understand. 

"Zitao's learning Sign Language because he has the hots for some florist." Yifan says simply, sucking down the last of his sugary monstrosity. 

"Really? That's very sweet of you, Zitao." Yixing's smile is proud, "what's the florist's name?" 

Zitao nearly wants to stick his tongue out at Yifan when Yixing does the opposite of tease. Yixing is the friend Zitao should keep. Chinese comradery aside, Yifan doesn't have anything in common with the two. Besides, maybe, Junmyeon. But the fading mark on Yifan's wrist is a reminder that, no, they don't even have him in common. 

"His name is Sehun. And I don't have a crush on him." Lies. How can Zitao lie to sweet Yixing?! Zitao's red face probably gives it away however. "I just think... it would be nice to be his friend, is all." 

"Did you make plans to hang out at all?" Yixing asks, unaware of just how little Zitao had even talked to Sehun besides through text- which Zitao shouldn't be ashamed of, it just how Sehun communicates. Zitao would talk on the phone woth him everyday if he could. Zitao's cheeks burn hotter, more ashamed of his cowardice. "No?" 

Zitao mumbles his response, hoping no one hears it, "I don't know how to ask to hang out..." Yifan bursts into laughter while Yixing just pats Zitao's hand and smiles fondly. 

\--

"Do you have a picture of him?" Jongin asks later that night when both of them are back in their dorm room until the morning and Zitao is grinning at his phone. He didn't waste time in texting Sehun a string of emojis when Sehun shares a photo of his white ball of fur named Vivi, and it's what he's doing right now. 

He just doesn't understand why he's smiling so wide. 

"No..."

"Can I meet him?" Jongin asks, looking as Zitao locks his phone, a goofy smile still on his face. 

Zitao just looks at him, humor and excitement gone. "Why?"

"I want to see if he's as attractive as you say." Jongin shrugs. Zitao's mind wanders to how Yifan acted and he cringes. 

"You won't be insensitive, will you?"

"Insensitive?" 

"You won't be rude? Like, no talking loudly, no just seeing him as just deaf. He's not dumb or whatever. He is actually really intelligent." 

Jongin raises an eyebrow, "I know all that, and I'm a little sad about the fact you have to make sure I do understand that."

Even if Zitao knows Jongin would be the best of his friends to introduce to Sehun first, apart from Junmyeon, Zitao wants to get to know Sehun a little bit better before he decides to share. 

Jongin must understand the indecision on Zitao's face, because he flicks Zitao's forehead and laughs. "Okay, okay, keep him to yourself for now, but eventually I'll meet him."

It sounds more like a threat the way Jongin says it and Zitao makes a note to make sure he's the one who takes Jongin to meet Sehun and not Jongin who seeks the flower boy out himself. "He's really adorable, Jongin." Zitao sighs. Jongin, who is quite used to Zitao ranting about guys, just rolls his eyes. 

"Adorable? That's the first time I've heard you use that word for anyone you have a crush on. You usually like the manly types. Hyper-masculine and shit." 

Jongin has a point. Zitao is drawn to pretty men, but he never actually develops feelings for them. It's more like a recognition that the cute boys are soft in ways Zitao only dreams about being. He thinks back to Sehun. "Well, he does have really broad shoulders. And his face looks really stern when he's concentrating. Like.. emotionless." Zitao has definitely spent too much time staring in the window at Sehun. 

"That's not what I mean. You go for the jerk jock type. Like Yifan. Remember when you had a crush on him? Even though he's technically Joonmyeon's soulmate?"

Zitao does remember. And he cringes. "Yeah, but... that doesn't mean I can't like Sehun. And just because he works with flowers, it doesn't make him girly or whatever." Zitao realizes what he's just admitted and clicks his tongue, "besides, I don't like him like that."

Jongin just shrugs, like he doesn't quite believe Zitao's response. 

Zitao's phone blips with a message. Sehun. 

_'So, do you wanna hang out sometime?' Zitao's heart stops_

\--

Sehun and Zitao meet up after a few days, outside of the flowershop. _'My mom said if I'm meeting a friend, I can close the shop while she's out on deliveries.'_ Is what Sehun explains on his notepad when Zitao's surprise shows on his face when Sehun walks through the door of Joonmyun's cafe. 

Thank god Luhan's not around. Right now, during the afternoon lull, it is just Zitao, Junmyeon, and one other part time employee. They're both in the back. 

Zitao has just clocked out and Yifan should be arriving any moment. "Junmyeon, I'm leaving!" 

Junmyeon bustles out and catches sight of Sehun. "Good afternoon! How may I-"

Zitao waves his hands and Junmyeon cuts off, Sehun looks pleased. "He's with me. He doesn't want your shitty coffee." 

Zitao looks to Sehun, and then gives Junmyeon a look, one that tells him not to say anything about this to anyone. "See you later, lover boy." Junmyeon winks, and Zitao's cheeks burn. Sehun might not have been able to hear what Junmyeon had said, but he definitely knows what a wink is. 

Zitao internally groans. His friends, and everyone he knows, are idiots. 

Sehun leads the way out of the cafe, and Zitao thinks he may have a specific place in mind. Zitao walks beside Sehun, a thrumming sort of excitement just under his skin. 

Sehun sought him out specifically, as a surprise it seems. Zitao is happy. 

Where Sehun takes him, is a small restaurant. Italian. _'My favorite.'_ Sehun writes, _'there is a waiter who knows sign.'_ He adds once they're sitting down. Zitao orders water, he can't tell what Sehun orders. 

It's a part of Sehun's life that Zitao is seeing so early. It kind of feels like a date. Zitao won't daydream about it. No, he will not. 

When Sehun had texted him a couple days ago, asking to hang out, Zitao had only mentioned that he didn't have classes Tuesday. Then, Sehun had suggested they meet up on the weekend. 

They hadn't really discussed much outside of that. The food comes quickly, or at least it feels fast when they're both absorbed in scribbling on paper, talking about anything and everything. But nothing too deep. 

The more Zitao spends time with Sehun, the more he thinks that, maybe believing in love wouldn't be so bad. That is until Zitao glances at the wristband Sehun uses to cover his wrist and remembers. 

There's no point in getting his hopes up when, at any moment, Sehun's proper soulmate could arrive and take him away from Zitao. 

That's too scary of a concept, so Zitao does his best to squash down the budding feelings. 

The pasta tastes amazing, the breadsticks and salad delicious. Sehun has an amazing sense of humor. Zitao thinks maybe he shouldn't hang out with Sehun because he doesn't know if he can remain unattached. 

Then Sehun smiles with all his teeth at Zitao's joke and the indecision flies from his mind. Even if he's only a friend for the rest of his life, Zitao just wants to be able to see that smile. 

Fear swirls in his belly.

Sehun and Zitao walk to the bus stop together silently. Zitao, usually, opposes silence. He think it is awkward and a wasted opportunity to learn more about someone. With Sehun, it feels natural. Not only that, but it isn't safe to walk and write at the same time. 

Zitao makes note to double his efforts on sign language so that he can use it to fill silences. He wants to be able to communicate with Sehun at any time, not just when they can scribble words on paper. 

\--

Despite not having discussed anything, when the weekend comes, Zitao has a perfect idea on what to do with Sehun. 

_'Do you want to go see a dance performance with me?'_ Zitao asks, pen scratching loudly on the paper. Zitao feels a little nervous. _'Tonight.'_ He adds to Sehun's questioning look. It's short notice. Sehun will probably say no. 

To his surprise, Sehun actually does nod. He looks happy, his eyes are bright. _'I haven't been to one in years!'_ He writes. _'I'm sure it will look beautiful without the music to go with it.'_

Zitao grins, but he doesn't respond. _'It's in an hour, are you ready to go now? Jongin wants to meet you. He's one of the performers.'_

Sehun once again nods. Two birds, one stone. He can get Jongin off his back about meeting him, and can give Sehun something special. He had talked this over with Jongin beforehand, who was all too happy to help given the fact he would actually be able to meet Sehun. 

Neither of them are dressed too formally, but it's a college showcase, so Zitao hopes it doesn't matter. He's never dressed up for any of Jongin's other showcases. This is different, though, he's with Sehun. 

He has to remind himself, before he gets in too deep, that Sehun is not any more special than any of Zitao's other friends. They're only friends. Zitao does not have feelings for the man who's smile makes the flowers in his shop thrive and grow. 

"Wow~" Jongin looks absolutely giddy when they arrive and he sees Sehun for the first time. Zitao has several selfies with snapchat filters on it, but he hasn't ever shared those with Jongin. Jongin doesn't deserve to see them. Zitao himself doesn't deserve to see them. Sehun just looks too cute with puppy ears, butterfly crowns, and sparkling eyes. "He's really cute." Jongin doesn't bother speaking softly, or leaning in. "I can see why you like him." 

"I don't like him!" Zitao's cheeks are burning red, Sehun watches, looking excited. Zitao thinks he sees a bit of red on his cheeks, too, but he's not sure for what reason Sehun would have to be blushing. 

Jongin turns his attention to Sehun and waves. Sehun waves back, bouncing on his heels. Sehun takes out his notepad and flips passed the first page. Zitao watches him scribble, _'it's nice to meet you! I'm Sehun. I've been looking forward to meeting Zitao's friends.'_

Jongin glances at Zitao after reading the paper. Jongin takes the pen and paper to reply. _'Well, I am the best one by far. Zitao picked well. I'm Jongin.'_

Zitao feels happiness prickle under his skin as the two converse. There's the communication barrier, but Jongin is taking it in stride. Zitao had mentioned it, of course, but Jongin didn't miss a beat in responding. Way better than how Zitao had reacted. 

All that's heard for a little while is scribbles, and Zitao participates, too, with his own pad of paper he's gotten into the habit of carrying around when he's with Sehun. 

"He is definitely a flower boy." Jongin says, to Zitao. "I approve. If you ever get the courage to actually ask him on a date." 

Zitao glances at Sehun, who is looking at Jongin's lips as he speaks. Zitao's heart pounds. "Don't talk like that in front of him just because he can't hear it." Zitao is kind of panicking. 

"Oh, right. It's rude, huh?"

"Yeah." Zitao mutters, taking a look at what Sehun has scribbled. Zitao has a sneaking suspicion Sehun can read lips, too. 

_'Should we go find seats?'_ Is what Sehun has written. Zitao grins, looking to Jongin. 

Jongin writes back, _'You two have special seating.'_ He's written a smiley face, too. Sehun looks confused, but also pleased. Zitao's not sure why his heart if nearly bursting with pure, unadulterated happiness. 

Jongin motions for them to follow and he takes them backstage, then around to the front of the stage, right near the orchestra pit. They are right by the stage, and even if they have to sit on an awkward set of stairs, and crane their necks painfully, the speaker is right there. Zitao knows that it would be more comfortable to just sit in the audience seating, but this way Sehun could feel the music, since he can't hear it. 

Instead of explaining on the paper, Zitao takes Sehun's hand and puts it on the thin porous fabric that covers the black box of the speaker. Soft music is playing while the audience mills about for their seats, and like this, Sehun can feel the vibrations of the music. 

Realization dawns on Sehun's face when a particularly hard bass beat hits and Sehun's hand trembles with the force. Sehun's head whips around to look at Zitao, then to Jongin and from there, it's a flurry of hand signs that neither Jongin or Zitao know what they mean. 

Like Sehun had forgotten he needed to write for them to understand in his obvious excitement. After a minute, Sehun looks absolutely sheepish. Zitao is a mess of emotions inside. He wants to speak to Sehun like this- how it comes naturally to Sehun. 

_'Sorry. I'm really grateful you have planned this for me. I haven't even been able to do this before. I saw my little sister's dance recital once, but it wasn't ever like this. I'm so happy.'_

He shows the paper to Zitao first, who's initial reaction was to envelope Sehun in such a tight hug it might have crushed the man. He manages somehow to hold that urge back, and only responds quickly. 

_'You're welcome.'_

He would add on _'anything for you'_ , but he feels that it might be too early in their relationship for that. Their friendship. Not relationship. Sehun shows the paper to Jongin, and puts his hand back on the speaker. 

_'Don't mention it.'_ Is what Jongin writes. Zitao envies his levelheaded coolness. Then he starts scribbling again, _'It is starting in about fifteen minutes, I have to go. I'll meet you both after my performance.'_

Zitao slips a pair of ear plugs into his ears, to mute the sound that will be blasting from the speakers, and scoots a little closer to Sehun. They chat idly until the lights go down. Sehun's hand slaps to the speaker. 

Sehun looks like a kid at Christmas. He's watching the stage with rapt attention, waiting for the showcase to start. The first performance isn't that impressive to Zitao, but Sehun still looks like it is the best thing he's ever watched. 

Zitao wants to put his hand over Sehun's on the speaker, just as an excuse to touch. Maybe it would calm the raging storm inside of Zitao. 

Zitao, after a while, isn't even watching the stage, he's just as content watching Sehun. He's beautiful, with the stage lights twinkling in his wide eyes. Zitao hasn't seen anything so beautiful. His hands itch to take out his phone and preserve this moment forever, but he's afraid it won't look as breathtaking from his iPhone camera as in real life. 

"Is Sehun enjoying it?" Jongin asks. Zitao jumps. A few hours with Sehun and Zitao is used to the silence. He didn't even realize Jongin had already performed. He has sweat on his chest and forehead. 

Zitao only nods, slipping out one of the earplugs. Sehun doesn't seem to have realized Jongin arrived. "Yeah, I'm positive he is. Look at him." 

Jongin grins, and claps Zitao on the back. "I saw you staring at him all through my performance, by the way. I would be mad if I weren't so happy for you." 

Zitao shushes Jongin, not wanting to even dwell on what he might mean by that. Zitao and Sehun were just friends.

"Jongin, I don't want Sehun to think I'm doing all this because I'm sweet on him." Zitao says, not paying attention to the dance or Sehun. He just is talking to Jongin now. "He's important to me, now. For some reason. I want to figure out if it's some weird infatuation or genuine feelings before I rush into anything."

Jognin hums, turning his gaze back to the stage. "That makes sense. Just don't wait too long." 

That ends the conversation and after the showcase ends, Zitao treats Jongin and Sehun to bubble tea. 

\--

Sehun and Joonmyeon meeting happens naturally the following Tuesday. Zitao had to stay over and cover the lapse in time where one of the cafe's part time employees called off until Yifan arrived at 6pm. 

Sehun decided to stop by at 5pm, when the flower shop closed. Joonmyeon looks at Sehun with that same, brotherly and warm smile he gives Zitao. He waves as Zitao rushes to get him a chocolate chip muffin. 

Joonmyeon introduces himself on paper, asking if Sehun wanted to try his super special secret recipe for hot chocolate- one that is only on the menu at Christmas time. 

Sehun, of course, agrees. He is an absolute sucker for anything chocolate. Sehun waits with his chocolate muffin as Zitao does some of the restocking and side work needed for the next shift. The cafe closes at 10pm, much later than a lot of them, so they can get pretty busy at night. 

Joonmyeon relieves Zitao of duty when the hot chocolate is done, as Sehun is currently the only customer in the shop. 

Sehun curiously scribbles a question on the paper pad, looking between the two men. _'How did you two meet?'_

Zitao grins, and begins to explain how by the time Zitao had joined the Kim family Joonmyeon was already a senior, Zitao was a freshman in high school but they still got on like white on rice. 

Sehun snickered at the metaphor, one of the several that Zitao has learned since being around Joonmyeon. In fact, he got a lot of his odd American phrases from Joonmyeon. 

_'So even after high school ended and you were supposed to go back, you stayed because you liked Joonmyeon so much?'_

_'Well, it helped that I had better education opportunities here'_ Zitao writes, his grin teasing. _'I want to help Joonmyeon with his cafe.'_

Sehun sips at the cocoa and his eyes go wide in surprise. _'This is the best I've ever had!'_ He scribbles and holds the paper up to Joonmyeon. The barista grins and takes the paper. 

_'Want me to teach you?'_

Sehun nods in excitement, taking a long drink from his cup. Joonmyeon waves Sehun to follow him into the kitchen. Zitao watches fondly, sipping at his tea. 

When Sehun shouts in surprise, Zitao hops up to see what the problem is. He's worried Sehun might be hurt. When it turns out he only accidentally splattered whipped cream on himself, Zitao sits at the bar. 

He watches with a tender look in his eyes as Sehun and Joonmyeon continue to make the cocoa. 

"So, this is him? The deaf guy?" Yifan asks. Zitao's blood kind of runs cold and he braces himself. Sehun is still happily stirring his cocoa from what Joonmyeon helped him to make as Junmyeon reveals his secret recipe on the pad of paper for Sehun, just in case he forgets when he wants to make it again. 

Sehun does, however, look up and around when Zitao does. "His name is Sehun." Zitao narrows his eyes. Sehun's eyebrows furrow, and he stares at Yifan. 

"What's this?" Yifan shouts, as if that would help Sehun hear. Yifan picks up the pad of paper, straight from Joonmyeon's grip. 

Joonmyeon's jaw drops. "Yifan." His tone is a warning. 

Yifan flips through the paper. "I didn't know people like him could read." 

Sehun, Zitao notices, looks crushed. "Stop it." Zitao stands and grabs the notebook from Yifan's hand. "What the hell is your problem?"

"It's an honest question." Yifan smirked, looking over Zitao's shoulder at Sehun. Zitao steps in the way again. "Awh, he's got a guard dog. Can't he stick up for himself? Oh wait. He can't even hear what I'm saying, why does it matter?" Yifan scoffs and goes around the counter, getting ready for his shift. 

"No." Zitao motions to the door. "What matters is your attitude towards him. And, quite frankly, you're being an asshole." Zitao is furious. "Why do you even have to be a dick towards him? What joy does it possibly give?"

"Yifan," Junmyeon stands, staring sternly at the tall Chinese man. "I'm going to have to ask you to leave my cafe." 

"What-?"

"You're fired, Yifan." Zitao elaborates, looking twenty shades of pleased. He crosses his arms over his chest. 

Yifan scoffs and throws his apron down, storming back out to the door. Zitao looks to Sehun again and just smiles softly. _'Sorry.'_ He writes on the paper. _'I guess I lost track of time. I never wanted you to meet him.'_

 _'He's an asshole.'_ Junmyeon writes below Zitao's handwriting. Sehun laughs, and it sounds a bit watery. Sehun sniffles and Zitao pulls him into a one armed side hug. Sehun leans into him and wipes at him nose. Zitao figures he ought to have decked Yifan and made his pretty face bleed. 

_'Hey, why don't you guys head off and get some pizza and bring it back? My treat. I'm starved.'_ Joonmyeon writes for Sehun and hands Zitao his credit card. 

_'Can we get chicken instead?'_ Sehun writes. Joonmyeon just smiles and nods, happy to see the smile back on Sehun's face. Sehun just does that, Zitao supposes. He just has a naturally pleasant aura about him. Even when he is being difficult, Sehun just screams 'spoil me'. 

Sehun and Zitao walk in silence, since it's too difficult to write and walk at the same time. But, considering the furrow in Sehun's brow, Zitao can tell that he's thinking about their next conversation. 

So it isn't a surprise when, once they're stopped and waiting to order, Zitao notices Sehun scribbling on his pad. What surprises him is the topic Sehun had been worrying about. 

_'How did Junmyeom even hire a guy like Yifan?'_

It wasn't a question Zitao had been particularly ready for, but he is willing to answer of course. He thinks Junmyeon won't mind if he tells the story. Or perhaps he should wait until they are with Junmyeon. 

_'I'll tell you when we get back.'_ Zitao writes back with an apologetic smile. 

Sehun nods and waits as Zitao orders, making sure Zitao also gets cookies. They don't talk as they wait, which is, for once, fine with Zitao. He's learning to appreciate silence over mindless blabbering. Though, he's sure once he's fluent in sign, he'd never stop talking to Sehun. 

Once back at Joonmyeon's cafe, Zitao directs his request to Joonmyeon out loud. "Will you show Sehun your soulmate mark?"

Joonmyeon looks rightfully surprised, but rolls his sleeve up anyway. Normally in a crisp white dress shirt, the mark is cleverly hidden when Joonmyeon is working. 

Sehun's eyebrows furrow when Joonmyeon turns the fading infinity mark towards him. _'Yifan has one just as faded.'_ Zitao writes. 

_'Before I hired Yifan, my wrist only said, 'hello, I'm Wu Yifan.''_ Zitao hates the look on Joonmyeon's face when he tells the story. He should have just told Sehun himself. _'You see, he applied for my cafe, and when I saw the name, I gave him an interview immediately.'_ Joonmyeon writing once Sehun has read the other line. 

Sehun looks properly shocked. Zitao has heard of people born with no marks like him, but he hadn't ever heard of anyone who had rejected their soulmate and the mark faded. 

_'When the infinity sign showed up, Yifan, at first, seemed pleased. I was, too.'_ Joonmyeon sighed, pausing so Sehun could catch up on his words. _'At first, we didn't tell anyone. Because Yifan didn't want people to think I only gave him the job because he was my soulmate. But...'_

Joonmyeon rolled his sleeve back down, buttoning the cuff and hiding the gray brand. _'Things started changing. He... began to get mean. He said he couldn't stand people thinking he was gay...'_ Zitao notices Joonmyeon's hand tremble. 

Sehun put his hand over Joonmyeon's, stilling his hand as he tried to continue writing. Even when the look wasn't directed at him, Zitao caught the meaning. Sehun didn't want Joonmyeon to upset himself just to appease Sehun's curiosity. 

Zitao patted Joonmyeon on the back and took the pen. "I'll explain, Joonmyeon." Joonmyeon smiled gratefully and ambled to the back. "I'll also stay to help out tonight if you can't get Luhan in." Zitao called after him. 

_'The mark has only been fading a few months. I don't know why Yifan hadn't quit then. Joonmyeon has too big of a heart, he couldn't bring himself to let Yifan go. I think he hoped that Yifan would change his mind.'_ Zitao scribbles. He's glad Sehun has gotten used to reading his awful penmanship. He's way better in his native language. 

_'Anyway, what really made the mark start to fade was when, right in the middle of the cafe, Yifan got mad at Joonmyeon. All Joonmyeon wanted was to at least tell me, his brother, that they were soulmates.'_

Zitao frowned, remembering the day clearly. _'I found out when Yifan shouted, 'how am I supposed to fall in love with a faggot like you?' In front of everyone... luckily it wasn't busy. But... I've never seen Joonmyeon cry until that day. He was so... heartbroken. I think he really loved Yifan.'_

Sehun grimaced as he read over the words, _'fate is funny that way.'_ Sehun wrote back, but he didn't look amused. He looked upset. _'Do you think Yifan will come around?'_

 _'No.'_ Zitao shakes his head. _'And, even if he did, I'm not sure Joonmyeon would take him. It was a real blow to Joonmyeon, to be called something so nasty by the one who is supposed to love him. To be rejected by him...'_

Sehun frowns more, something hidden in his eyes. Zitao is a little bit confused. Why would Sehun look like this? Sehun's face has always been so expressive, especially his eyes. Zitao has always been so proud he could recognize Sehun's emotions. 

But this one, he isn't familiar with. _'Does Joonmyeon still hurt?'_

Zitao only nods. _'It's worse than living without one.'_ Zitao writes, tugging at the leather bracelet around his wrist. _'I can't imagine how he feels.'_

Sehun eyes the band around Zitao's wrist for a few moments before he actually looks at the words Zitao has written. An excited undercurrent runs through the brown of Sehun's eyes. _'Is your wrist blank?'_

Is what Sehun chooses to respond with and Zitao pulls his hand from the table and unsnaps the button holding the bracelet on. 

He doesn't need to write down the words for Sehun. He can see that his tanned skin is just that- tanned skin. 

_'What's your say?'_ Zitao finds the courage to ask, hands trembling as he scribbles the words. 

Sehun laughs, but Zitao knows there isn't any humor in the sound from the way Sehun's smile is so rueful. He signs, then, the same sign he had used to tell Zitao in the first place. 

_'I'm deaf.'_ It says. Zitao's heart plummets and he feels a little bit like an idiot. How could that thought mot have occurred to him? The words Sehun scribbles on the paper are unnecessary, but Zitao reads them anyway. 

_'I can't hear anyone's first words to me, let alone my soulmates.'_ Sehun pauses and tugs the sweatband from his wrist. Pale skin unblemished by black inky words. _'Funny how fate works.'_ He scrawls next. 

Zitao does not find this funny either. However, he can't stop the flickering of something strange in his chest. Hope, maybe? Fear, also. 

If they didn't have marks at all, that was a match, right? Sehun covers his wrist again, and Zitao's heart races. Sehun hadn't spoken to him, either. They both have blank wrists so what if that means-

 _'Lots of people don't have marks.'_ Sehun pens out on paper, as if he could tell what Zitao was thinking; what he was hoping for. And Zitao just nods, not sure how else to respond without letting his disappointment show. 

After a second, he seems to snap out of it and shifts in his seat. _'A lot of people don't have marks'_ Is what he has said. Zitao reads the words again. Zitao smiles a little, heart aching. 

Sehun had looked so hopeful, and now, he looks like he's trying to convince himself of something. Just who were those words for, exactly?

 _'Yeah, of course.'_ Zitao, however, thinks he knows. He and Sehun are soulmates. If not by fate, by the way Sehun makes him feel. And how he knows he makes Sehun feel. 

Why should fate, mark or no mark, be able to decide for them? But, maybe, Sehun doesn't feel the same way. For now, Zitao decides to put the realization and feelings on the back burner. Even if he falls for Sehun, Sehun can reject him. 

It is silent for a while, until Junmyeon comes back and informs Zitao that Luhan, unfortunately, can't make it in to replace Yifan. Which is probably just as well, the events of today have Zitao feeling emotional but at the same time closed off. He doesn't know how to feel and the date with Sehun he had planned was definitely too cheerful for him right now. 

Sehun probably wouldn't even consider it a date. 

They say their goodbyes since Sehun can't wait around for hours and hours for Zitao to get done, and Zitao spends his time cleaning to mull over his emotions. They are messy and confusing. Despite that, however, he wants to stay by Sehun's side. 

Maybe, just maybe, since Sehun can't run off with whoever says the magic words, he'll agree to date Zitao. To be with him. 

Was it worth the risk to ask? To try it?

\-- 

"Jongin! Sehun's wrist is blank to-" Zitao bursts into their shared dorm room, gets a flash of boobs and his ears are assaulted by a terrified shriek. 

Zitao stands frozen, eyes wide, as the woman rolls up in Jongin's blanket as he leaps from the bed and buttons his pants up. 

"Hey- thought you were..." Jongin struggles to get out, hair a mess. "With Sehun. On a date."

"It's.... complicated..." Zitao finally finds his voice again, and now he's confused. Jongin has never brought anyone back to their dorm. He was practically celibate, intent on finding his soul mate. "Is this-?"

Jongin grins wide and lifts his wrist where the scrawled black words have turned into the thick twist of an infinity sign. "Her name is Krystal." His smile is wide and dopey.

Zitao immediately deflates. He grins, outwardly, because he really, really is happy for Jongin. "I'll leave you to it." Zitao winks, and claps Jongin on the back before leaving. 

Zitao closes the door and hears Jongin's pants drop to the floor. He doesn't know how he feels about his dorm room now. He hopes it won't smell like sex when he returns. 

He doesn't really know where to go, now. Which, really, is the perfect ending to such a trying day. He thinks about texting Sehun, but his hope he had built up during his shift at Cloud 9 is still very fragile. He doesn't want to crush it so soon. 

So, he calls Joonmyeon. It's been a while since he's just hung out with him anyways. Zitao figures some bonding time is due. Even if it's just movies, popcorn, and beer.


	2. Flower Crowns

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Warnings: there's a small smut scene at the end. Also some bloody imagery. Fluff. Word vomit.
> 
> Another warning: this took so long because i've been trying to fix the flow of the story. It didn't work and I kind of loathe the way it flows.

Zitao may be in deep, deep trouble. He had sworn off finding love. In a world obsessed with soulmates, he just didn't fit into it. However, the heart wants what it wants and Sehun is what Zitao's heart wants. He figured it out some time between tiramisu and Mario Kart death match rounds. 

Which is why, after eight full and hard months of studying Sign Language, Zitao's stomach is twisting in knots as he decides that it is finally time to show Sehun what he's learned. He's reached the point where all he needs now is the exposure and conversational practice to be able to use it. 

And he's sure Sehun would understand why he needs to sign slowly and work up to a fast pace with both signing and comprehending. 

_'Hey, Sehun.'_ Zitao begins once the twinkling of the flower shop bells have stopped. It's Tuesday at 3pm, his mother is gone from the shop and he doesn't have classes. _'I learned for you. But i am still getting comfortable with it.'_

Once Zitao is finished and he feels hot and sort of embarrassed all over, he finally looks at Sehun. The man is grinning from ear to ear, his eyes doing that thing that always makes Zitao's stomach tie in knots. It is, of course, always so satisfying to be the cause of Sehun's smile. 

_'You learned for me?'_ Now that Zitao looks closer, Sehun looks a little confused. Like he isn't sure why Zitao would have made such an effort for him. 

_'I want to be able to communicate with you how you do best.'_ Zitao explains. His heart is pounding too hard and fast. 

Sehun bites his lip, like he is debating something. And when he throws his arms around Zitao, Zitao is ready to return it. The hug is bone crushing and sincere. He laughs with Sehun and when he feels wetness against his neck where Sehun's face is buried, he pulls back. 

_'Why are you crying?'_ He asks, eyebrows furrowed in concern. He then wipes at the tears on Sehun's cheeks. 

_'You signed...'_ Sehun has to pause to wipe at his face and make a very unattractive sniffling noise. But Sehun has always been loud in the things he does. _'For me.'_

Zitao gets it, he thinks. Sehun is so moved by Zitao's effort. It makes his heart hurt for how lonely Sehun must feel at times in a hearing world. All he has to really communicate with in sign language is his mother and sister. 

_'It was easy.'_ Zitao shrugs it off, pretending it was nothing. Like he hadn't spent all his free time learning in classes and on his own. Like all his friends weren't fed up with him repeating everything they said with his hands. All of that is worth Sehun's happiness. From the look in Sehun's eyes, Zitao can tell that Sehun has seen right through him. 

Sehun returns his arms around Zitao and Zitao is okay with holding him for a while longer even if they miss the movie they had planned. They can rent it when it comes out, so Sehun doesn't have to deal with the caption device. 

When Sehun does pull back, he looks ten times more bashful than usual. _'Sorry. I just am so very grateful for all you've done just for me.'_

Sehun's mom walks in then, and Zitao waves. Her focus, however, is on her son's red eyes. 

_'What's wrong?'_ She asks with her hands and eyes Zitao suspiciously. 

_'He learned sign language for me.'_ Sehun answers. This seems to floor Mrs. Oh, who just turns her previously suspicious eyes to Zitao, admiration now sparkling in them. Sehun has her eyes. 

"You did?" She asks Zitao out loud. "Why?"

"Because Sehun is important to me." Zitao says this both with his mouth and his hands so Sehun can see. He wants Sehun to know that. Even if the admission makes his face feel warm. 

Mrs. Oh hugs like Sehun, too. Tight and warm. Zitao returned the hug. "It's always been so difficult for Sehun to communicate and make friends. I'm so thankful for you and your friends. He's been so happy lately." The emotion in her voice, and the realization that he might be making Sehun's life better brings unexpected tears to his eyes. 

Zitao is able to blink them away before anyone notices, luckily. "We're happy to have Sehun, too. He's... just amazing." He says this one only with his mouth, because he isn't ready for Sehun to know that part. 

_'Mom, we're going to go get pizza, okay?'_ Sehun signs, mouth pulling into a wide grin as he takes hold of Zitao's wrist to pull him out of the shop. 

Zitao translates his order and pizza has never tasted so good with Sehun's happiness shining through. 

\--

"So, did you confess?" Jongin bombards Zitao the moment he steps into the door. Zitao thrusts his pizza leftovers at him. 

"No." Zitao shakes his head as he slips off his shoes. 

"Didn't you learn sign language so that you could?" 

"I wanted to learn sign so that it would be more comfortable for him to talk to me. For him to feel more included. Maybe we can all get together sometime and I can translate rather than write everything down."

Jongin rolls his eyes. "Coward." Zitao frowns. The truth occurs to Jongin at that moment. "You really are scared." He says it like a statement rather than a question. It would be insulting to Zitao if it weren't hitting the nail right on the head. 

"I'm scared he won't accept me because of it. Because he doesn't know if we're soulmates. Even if both our wrists are blank." Zitao squares his shoulders. "Besides, I don't buy into that soulmate stuff." 

Jongin snorts. "Sure, keep telling yourself that." 

"Besides. His mother came back before I could. Jongin, she's very happy with the fact that we've befriended Sehun. That we've made him happy." Zitao explains. He's feeling a little emotional again. He clears his throat. 

"God, you're so in love it's hard to look at you right now." Jongin laughs, clapping Zitao heavily on the back and moving towards his dorm bed. "I just hope you don't wait too long and he finds someone else. Someone not scared." 

Jongin's warning shakes him, as he hadn't ever thought about it. "But-" he finds he doesn't have any protest for it. Learning sign language had been a grand gesture, but it wouldn't make Sehun fall in love with him. It wouldn't cement his place as Sehun's lover if Zitao never told Sehun he had feelings for him. 

"But nothing. He's really cute. If I wasn't already taken, I could go for him." Jongin shrugs and opens a magazine. 

Zitao snorts, "oh, come off it. Krystal was your first ever kiss." 

Jongin holds the magazine closer to his face, Zitao sees a blush and smirks. He won. 

Zitao leaves then to shower, settling in bed just afterwards. He sleeps, but not well. He waked up in the morning and contemplates how much he must care for Sehun that even just the thought of someone else having him has him this upset. 

It could happen. Zitao would like to think he'd be happy for Sehun. But still, for now at least, he doesn't want to compromise the friendship they have. 

\--- 

The floodgates are open on their level of communication now that Zitao is signing with Sehun. They can talk more about their lives when face to face communication was too tedious to write everything and text too insincere. 

Zitao learns that Sehun parents have divorced one night as they're laying out on a flimsy air mattress on Sehun's poor excuse for a balcony. It's warm and there are a few stars out considering Sehun lives far enough outside of the city. 

Sehun is watching the sky, but Zitao is watching his hands. _'It was too much for him, me being deaf. He never learned sign, he didn't... participate in my life. I wanted to have a father.'_ Zitao hears Sehun swallow, but he is too afraid to look at Sehun's face. _'My mother couldn't take it. So we moved here, just outside the city, after their divorce. I was 8 years old.'_

Zitao has no idea what to say, so he decides for now it is better to just listen. To let Sehun say what he needs to say. _'I was in therapy for a while, but nothing could convince me it wasn't my fault.'_

Sehun fiddles with his hands for a moment, not signing anything but Zitao can tell there is more he wants to say. 

The words find Sehun a few moments later, and he continues. _'I think what got my father freaked out the most was... I would stick things in my ears. Screwdrivers, mostly. Because that's what I saw my dad doing when things wouldn't work. The vacuum, garbage disposal... his car. It worked on all those things. But never my ears.'_

Zitao grimaces, unable to imagine how painful it was, but understanding the thought behind it. 

_'One time, the last time I ever did it, there was so much blood. And i was screaming. My father found me and took me to the hospital. He left that night and I didn't see much of him from then on. I don't even remember what he looks like now.'_

Sehun's hands drop then, and Zitao reaches out to hold one, fingers curling together with Sehun's. When Zitao finally looks up, Sehun's lips are curled into a small smile, eyes on Zitao. They hold gazes for a moment before Sehun's eyes shift back to the stars. 

Zitao turns his attention back to the sky. They sit in silence, enjoying the summer night. Sehun beside him just feels so right. Like it was meant to happen. 

Zitao doesn't say this to Sehun, however. He keeps it to himself, hoping that there would be a better time for it. Maybe when he knew Sehun wouldn't run away from him. 

They stay outside for another hour or so. Zitao is very nearly asleep when he feels the mattress shift and Sehun's hand slip from his own. 

"What're you doing?" He asks out loud, but then remembers who he is with, and blinks his eyes open. When his eyes finally focus, Sehun is already stepping inside his apartment. For a long moment, Zitao considers staying there, but now it feels a little chilly without the heat of Sehun's body beside him. 

He stumbles inside, wakening more with each step, and finds Sehun making ramen. 

They eat together at Sehun's kitchen counter, not saying anything. The silence is comfortable, like it always is, but Zitao can't stop looking at Sehun. 

Not only the prejudice he has to face from the outside world, but his own father, too, Sehun has had a lot of pain. Still, he stays a ray of sunshine. Zitao's own little sunflower. Zitao finds Sehun even more amazing each new thing he learns. 

_'you're staring.'_ Sehun signs, getting Zitao's attention. Zitao isn't sure what to say, but he isn't embarrassed he was caught. 

_'Youre extraordinary.'_ Zitao responds, and the flush that appears on Sehun's face is definitely a sight to behold.

\--

 _'You know...'_ Sehun begins, a playfully thoughtful look on his face. Zitao puts another flower behind Sehun's ear. Sehun holds the crown up with a grin. The flowers are weaved together perfectly. It's after hours at First Love Flowers, and Zitao and Sehun are getting rid of the older flowers. 

Apparently that means making flower crowns. Zitao and Sehun haven't really gotten much done. 

_'I think it would look good on you.'_ Zitao signs before Sehun can finish his sentence. Sehun snorts and puts the crown on Zitao's head. 

_'Better on you.'_ Sehun teases. 

_'You're the flowerboy.'_ Zitao protests, before taking the crown off. Sehun makes a noise and stops him, forcing the crown back on Zitao's head delicately. 

Sehun then lifts a bunch of flowers from his lap, which Zitao belatedly notices are woven in a string. Sehun works so fast to add a couple more flowers to connect it in a circle. 

_'We match.'_ Sehun motions once the crown is nestled safely in his chestnut brown locks. 

Zitao is so head over heels, he feels giddy. Jongin is right, Zitao is so in love it's sickening. Zitao can't deny it anymore. Zitao pulls his phone out. _'Picture?'_ He asks, eyebrows raised in question as he repeats the sign. 

Sehun makes a funny face, Zitao decides to make one, too. He snaps a few pictures in quick secession. Their faces return to normal and Zitao takes a few pictures of that, too.

 _'You know.'_ Sehun has a habit of starting his sentences with that, Zitao has noticed. It's a cute little habit. Zitao adores everything about Sehun. _'You look cute in this one.'_ Sehun points out the picture where their nostrils are both flared and eyes crossed. 

Zitao shakes with laughter. _'Send them to me, too?'_ Zitao nods at Sehun's request and sends all 8 pictures at once. 

Sehun replies to his picture texts with three heart eyes emojis. Zitao laughs again, looking at the man with the flower crown, looking like summer sunshine. 

Zitao saves their picture as his home screen. His lock screen would be too obvious. And when he wears the flower crown home, he doesn't care about the weird looks he gets on the train. A gift from Sehun should be displayed proudly.

 

\--

It's barely a week later when both of the boys are sitting on Zitao's bed watching a movie that Sehun drops a question that stops Zitao's heart. 

_'When are you going to kiss me?'_ Sehun completely shocks Zitao by asking. Zitao's eyes bug and Sehun's smile hints at laughter. Zitao's heart rate picks up from a dead stop and he hopes Sehun can't see it pound in his throat. Or completely out of his chest. _'I know you want to.'_

Zitao gulps and raises his hands to respond. He didn't know this question would ever be so stressful. _'What about what you want?'_

Sehun looks like he was expecting it, if the way he rolls his eyes is any indication. He pauses, looking up like he's trying to recall something. _'About six times I wanted. No...'_ Sehun shakes his head. _'I needed you to kiss me. I always want you to.'_ Sehun's cheeks are red, the only indication Zitao gets that he is nervous. Otherwise, he looks so sure of himself- not even his hands are shaking. He's learned to control the shakiness like one would learn to control the emotion in their voice. 

_'I'm curious about those six times.'_ Zitao responds instead of just kissing Sehun like they both want. 

_'Kiss me first. One kiss for each time.'_

Zitao grins. _'Deal?'_

_'Deal.'_

So Zitao dives in and presses his lips against Sehun's. they slot together so perfectly, so deliciously. All Zitao can think about now is keeping the kiss going. He cups Sehun's cheeks and sucks on his bottom lip. He can feel Sehun shift and push the laptop from his lap and onto what little space is left on the small bed. 

He eventually does pull away, just before he gives into temptation and starts licking into the younger man's mouth. "Tell me." Zitao mouths. Sehun stares at his lips. Sehun smiles and it confirms what Zitao has suspected for a while now. Sehun can read lips. 

That explains so many things. 

He doesn't have time to feel so embarrassed, before Sehun starts signing again. _'The time you signed to me first, is the strongest time. I wanted to kiss you even though I was ugly and crying.'_

Zitao doesn't want to remove his arms from around Sehun's waist in order to respond. "You were absolutely gorgeous." He says out loud instead. Sehun's breath hitches, but Zitao kisses him again. This time it is just a simple, sucking kiss. Like Zitao is trying to steal all of Sehun's breath away. 

"Second?" Tao voices. 

_'When you took me to Jongin's dance showcase and got me a seat near the speakers. You were looking at me and I saw you mouth 'beautiful' and I knew you weren't talking about the dancing.'_

Zitao forgoes embarrassment at being caught in favor of licking into Sehun's mouth this time. He quickly finds himself becoming addicted to the taste. Sehun tastes sweet. Zitao should have expected this. 

By the time Zitao pulls away this time, Sehun's cheeks are so, so red and his breathing is uneven. _'Third. When I made those flower crowns and we matched.'_ Sehun pecks his lips this time. _'Fourth when you stood up for me in front of Yifan.'_ Sehun moves closer, Zitao kisses his neck. 

Sehun practically melts and lets out this noise- it heads straight down into Zitao's stomach. His blood is running hot. Too hot. 

_'Fifth, tell me fifth.'_ Zitao pulls away, having to force some space between them. One, so Sehun can sign, and two so he doesn't completely devour him. Zitao licks his lips, eyes drifting from Sehun's moving hands to his lips. 

_'Fifth, when you taught me how to make Joonmyeon's lemon cookies. Even if you didn't really know how either and Joonmyeon had to save the day.'_

Zitao signs to Sehun to keep going and he'd get his kisses, for sure. _'Sixth, when you sat patiently and let me tell you what has been challenging for me. And you didn't look at me with pity, but admiration.'_

 _'You are inspiring.'_ Zitao signs. Sehun smiles and brings himself closer. 

_Give me my last kiss.'_ He demands, and who would Zitao be to deny him? Sehun seems to be enjoying it just as much as Zitao is, if the way his fingers slip into Zitao's hair and tug is an indication. Zitao groans and pulls away. He is too weak and Sehun too sweet. 

Sehun looks at him, a little confused. Sehun doesn't have to sign for him to get the question. _'Why did you stop?'_

 _'Because if we continued, we might have done something too fast.'_ Zitao had the decency to look a little ashamed. Just a little. Besides, Jongin was due back any minute- his dance practice ended fifteen minutes ago. 

Sehun nods in understanding, his own cheeks flaring pink. Zitao kisses each cheek. _'Does this make us boyfriends?' _Comes Sehun's next question.__

___'Yes.'_ Zitao doesn't have to think about it. And he wishes there were some way he could show Sehun through his hands that he would shouting the word from the rooftops if he could. Maybe there is but Zitao just doesn't know it yet. _ _

__Jongin doesn't knock before he enters, and he greets Sehun how Zitao had taught him a few nights before. Sehun signs his greeting back enthusiastically. Jongin looks at Zitao, eyebrows raised. Zitao knows what he's asking silently. It's a look Zitao has seen so many times before._ _

___'tell him.'_ Sehun nudges Zitao suddenly. Zitao doesn't know how to actually tell Jongin that he and Sehun are dating now without revealing that it wasn't him who made the first move. Jongin would ask too many questions. _ _

__Zitao's face burns. "We're a couple now." Zitao says verbally and through sign. Jongin looks at Sehun, then at Zitao, smile wide on his face._ _

__"About time. Sehun made the first move, huh?" Jongin asks, Sehun laughs. Zitao just pouts._ _

__And of course, once Sehun leaves, Jongin interrogates Zitao on the exact details._ _

__\--_ _

__Despite being disgustingly in love, the two boys really don't have much private alone time together. Which is fine with Zitao, because he wants it to be slow and bot all about sex. But, at the same time, he really wants to do more than makeout in the short moments when Jongin was out of the dorm._ _

__Because, with the news that Zitao and Sehun were dating, his Sehun's mom seemed to start hovering more and more. She had recently started staying late in the evenings at Sehun's apartment._ _

__Zitao has noticed Sehun's mom coddles him too much. Almost to the point of suffocating. Sehun had to fight to get his own apartment, just a small cheap studio. Even though she's over half the time anyway. He had to fight even harder to be able to help customers when his mother wasn't around. Sehun's admitted his mom doesn't understand that even though he can't hear, he isn't helpless._ _

__If she was bad before, the risk of Sehun getting his heart broken had turned her overprotectiveness to overdrive._ _

__Zitao can understand, in a way. Sehun hasn't been treated fairly in the few relationships he's had. Sehun has shared that much with him. Even in the ones where they didn't end up leaving him for their soul mate._ _

__Opportunity knocks when Zitao doesn't. And, once again, he gets an eyeful of bouncing breast and sweaty pecs. Only they don't seem to realize he is there. And The sight of Krystal riding his best friend will forever be burned into his corneas._ _

__He wonders how much a cornea transplant costs._ _

__With nowhere else to go, Zitao decides to message Sehun._ _

__**To: Sehun  
i kno i just left from dinner, but can i come over? I've been sexiled.** _ _

____**From: Sehun  
** Sexiled?  
I'd love to have you over.  
My mom is finally going home soon ^^ 

__Zitao feels his heart racing. His fingers shake as he explains what sexiled means, but he definitely doesn't walk as fast as he can without running to the bus stop he usually takes to Sehun's apartment. The bus stops in front of Zitao as he gets a reply. He waits to get settled before opening the message._ _

__**From Sehun:  
Does this mean my mom is being sexiled? ** _ _

__Zitao's heart leaps into his throat but he blames the bus jolting to movement as he reads it. He is going to lose his mind, but he keeps his tone through text light._ _

__**To Sehun:  
No, your mom is over protective, but not your room mate. ** _ _

__He wonders if Sehun has the stuff needed for this. Or should it be Zitao's responsibility? Zitao has never been this nervous for sex before. Across from Sehun's bus stop is a convenience store. Zitao stops there and briskly walks down the block to Sehun's apartment._ _

__When Sehun opens the door, Zitao hopes his cheeks aren't as pink as they feel. Sehun smiles and Zitao's nervousness melts away. The lube and condoms were tucked safely in his hoodie pocket. He slips off his coat and shoes when he steps inside, dropping them to the ground just to be able to get to Sehun faster._ _

__It's been an hour since Zitao first asked to come over, and though Sehun's hair is nearly dry, Zitao can tell Sehun has showered within that time. He smells like his soap, like milk and honey, and he looks so soft._ _

__Zitao almost feels bad for wanting to ruin that. Almost._ _

__Sehun stumbles a bit when Zitao pulls him into a kiss, but almost immediately melts into it, his arms winding around Zitao's neck. Sehun's apartment is only about as big as Zitao's shared dorm room, with an added kitchenette and stove in an area about the size of a closet._ _

__It's small but comfortable, smells like Sehun and feels like home. It's only a couple of feet before Sehun's bed, and they fumble towards it clumsily- nearly crashing into the balcony door in the process._ _

__When the back of Sehun's legs finally hit the mattress, he falls down on it and crawls back up to lay against the pillows. His cheeks are now looking as hot as Zitao's. Zitao crawls over Sehun and continues to kiss. Sehun's mouth sort of tastes like he had just finished drinking a chocolate milk tea before Zitao arrived and Zitao doesn't doubt that he did._ _

__Zitao takes his time in memorizing Sehun's mouth, tongue tracing every inch. Sehun is eager to let Zitao do that, his fingers running through his hair and Zitao just knows he's messing it up. But he doesn't care._ _

__Zitao, however, doesn't know what to do with his own hands. At the moment, one is on Sehun's hip while the other is flopped uselessly on the bed as his elbow holds him up and off Sehun._ _

__After what seems like forever but still not long enough, Zitao pulls back. Sehun's looking at him, so he just speaks. "Are you sure you want this?"_ _

__While Zitao knows that Sehun wants to say so much more just by the look in his eyes, Sehun just nods. Zitao digs in his hoodie pocket and sets the condoms and lube on the extra pillow that Sehun's head isn't resting on. Sehun snickers and rolls over, his sweater riding up. He has dimples on his lower back. How cute._ _

__Zitao finally focuses on what Sehun is actually doing and looks into the bedside table drawer he opened up. Oh. There's lube, two bottles in fact. And a small bullet vibrator. There are no condoms, however. Zitao's seeing stars._ _

__His hands move and say, _'way ahead of you. But thank you for being careful.'_ Sehun shifts to his knees, eyes on the condoms. Zitao also sits up. _ _

___'How do you want to do this?'_ Zitao asks. He can see Sehun gulp. All at once, nervousness creeps up into Sehun's expression. _ _

___'For now... can we just... take it slow?'_ Sehun says, pausing a few times. He looks like he's unsure how Zitao will take it. For a moment, Zitao feels a little relieved. He can definitely do slow. _ _

___'we can do whatever you want.'_ Zitao concedes. _ _

___'I haven't ever... because I wanted to be sure of whoever i do it with.... so... I only know what my own fingers and... stuff feel like so...'_ Zitao's heart soars. In many ways, Sehun is admitting Zitao is special to him. _ _

__Sehun looks so nervous. Zitao isn't certain what he can say to make Sehun feel better. _'Do you want a blowjob?'_ Zitao asks, hoping the bluntness makes Sehun laugh. _ _

__It does and Sehun just nods again, rubbing at the back of his neck sheepishly. Zitao kind of wants to use that bullet vibe on him, but he can save that for another time._ _

___Lay down.'_ Zitao motions before pulling his own hoodie off. Sehun is too focused on Zitao's abs to really do as he's asked. _ _

___'Before that... can we just...'_ Sehun stops, Zitao can tell he's at a loss for words. Zitao knows what he wants and takes Sehun's hand and puts it on his abs. It's not like Zitao wasn't going to take his time with it anyway. _ _

___'Just do whatever you want.'_ He signs for Sehun, _'you don't have to tell me.'__ _

__Sehun runs both his hands over Zitao's stomach, and up his chest. It sends a shiver down his spine and goosebumps over his skin. Sehun pushes Zitao down by the shoulders._ _

__It's quiet, a totally different experience than Zitao is used to, but he thinks he likes it this way more. It's more intimate when he can just follow along with what Sehun wants just by communicating with each other's bodies._ _

__Sehun strips his sweater off and Zitao's mouth goes dry. So much pale, beautiful skin. So much to touch and kiss. Before he can get a chance to pull Sehun down and roll them over, Sehun straddles Zitao's hips and nuzzles into his neck._ _

__With Sehun taking charge like this, Zitao wants to see where it will go. He kisses along Zitao's jaw and down his neck. Sehun's mouth feels so warm against Zitao's skin, he groans. Sehun can't hear it, no, but he can feel the vibration in Zitao's chest and he bites down on his collarbone just to see if Zitao will do it again. He does._ _

__Sehun lifts his head and grins at Zitao. It's so cute, Zitao just melts. He runs his hand through Sehun's hair and stretches his neck to kiss him. They're both still clothed from the waist down, but even just the extra skin on skin is getting Zitao hot and bothered._ _

__His hands runs down Sehun's back, fingers following the curve of Sehun's spine and dips into those gorgeous dimples. He wants to kiss Sehun all over. Just as he makes to do so, Sehun pushes him down again with a determined pout. Zitao's eyebrows raise. _'My turn first.'_ Is the only explanation Sehun gives. _ _

__From there, Sehun sits on his thighs and traces his abs with his hands. Then he leans down to do the same with his mouth. Sehun's mouth is wet on his skin. He's sloppy and unpracticed, but Zitao finds he doesn't mind. Especially not when Sehun's hands work on getting his pants undone. Zitao lifts his hips as Sehun pushes his pants down mid-thigh._ _

__Zitao suddenly finds himself holding his breath. He's hard, terribly, almost embarrassingly, so, and when he looks down at Sehun, he finds the younger man looks a little overwhelmed, like he doesn't know what to do._ _

__He is just kind of staring at Zitao's dick and it's a little awkward. Zitao reaches down and touches Sehun's cheek. Sehun starts and looks up at Zitao with large eyes._ _

___'You okay?'_ At the question, Sehun nods and turns his face into the hand cradling his cheek. Zitao retracts his hand to ask another question, _'do you want me to do it to you first?'__ _

__Sehun nods once more, cheeks flaring. _'I don't know what to do. I don't want to accidentally bite your dick off.'_ Sehun responds more fully, looking down sheepishly as he moves to lay down beside Zitao. _ _

__Zitao grimaces, _'yes, I happen to to be very attached to my dick'_ Zitao kisses Sehun's forehead and then each of his cheeks. He whispers, Sehun's eyes on his lips, "I'll take good care of you."_ _

__Sehun smiles, softly. Fondly. Zitao returns it._ _

__Zitao pushes his own pants and boxers off, and settles once again on top of Sehun. He kisses from behind his ear, down his neck. Sehun fidgets like he can't hold still. Zitao slides his hands over Sehun's hips as he moves his lips down Sehun's chest. They travel behind his back and push his jeans down, sliding over Sehun's ass._ _

__Oh, how Zitao can't wait to get a handful of that. Sehun sighs, sounding like a borderline moan, as Zitao sucks on his bellybutton._ _

__Once Sehun's pants are over his hips, Zitao pulls away to take them off._ _

__Sehun is gorgeous. Zitao has to refrain from just devouring him right then. Excitement makes his stomach flip. He needs to go slow, so Sehun knows the best way to do it._ _

__Zitao buries his face in Sehun's hip and groans without lifting his face, he signs. _'I don't know what to do. You're too beautiful.'_ Sehun just smacks his head. Zitao laughs against his hip and kisses the skin beneath his mouth. _ _

__He sucks a kiss into Sehun's hip bone, biting hard at the skin to make a small mark there. He isn't sure how Sehun would like being marked, so he leaves small ones for now. Pink patches that will disappear within a couple hours. One on his hip, and one on his inner thigh. Sehun's thighs tremble as Zitao's lips ghost over the length of his cock. Zitao is teasing and he debates teasing even more when Sehun makes this noise that zings pleasure straight down Zitao's spine._ _

__His lips part and Zitao swirls his tongue over the head. Sehun's stomach jerks and Zitao doesn't think he wants to tease. Sehun is sort of mewling out each sigh and he wants to pull stronger, louder noises from his lips._ _

__Sehun is normally loud, because he just doesn't realize, but like this, Sehun is quiet. Quiet like each action on Zitao's part knocks the air out of him before his moan can grow in volume. Zitao wastes no time in trying to pull at Sehun's control, cheeks hollowing out as he moves his head. His tongue swirls around the tip before he sinks back down on Sehun's cock. Another couple movements like that and Zitao hears Sehun's breath catch in his throat, toes curling as his knees bend on the bed, back arching._ _

__Zitao pulls off completely, stopping Sehun's orgasm before it has a chance to hit. Sehun makes a strangled, confused sound, cheeks and chest flushed red. Zitao smirks and moves his mouth to the side, nipping at Sehun's smooth thighs. He sucks to make the mark he put there earlier just a bit darker._ _

__Sehun doesn't protest. In fact, he looks into it. Sehun's fingers find their way into his hair and he tugs, Zitao can practically taste his desperation on his skin._ _

__This time, when his mouth is back on Sehun's cock, with his cheeks hollow and tongue pressing against all the right places, he doesn't stop until Sehun's cum is in his mouth, nearly spilling out the sides. Sehun releases with a soft cry, a bit garbled but loud, unrestrained. Just seeing Sehun like this, is almost enough to make him come, too._ _

__But, somehow, he doesn't. Maybe it's the promise of Sehun returning the favor that has him holding off. He thinks about Sehun's face, his mouth full of cock, and groans._ _

__He crawls back up Sehun's body when he has swallowed and cleaned his lips and chin. He doesn't kiss Sehun's mouth even though he wants to, he kisses his cheek and mouths _'you good?'__ _

__Sehun looks too blissed out to possibly have understood what he said, but his hands lift and he smiles. _'Great.'_ He signs, tugging Zitao's mouth down to his own. Zitao keeps his eyes open, watching a wrinkle appear between Sehun's brows as the younger boy licks into his mouth, no doubt tasting himself. _ _

__Zitao chuckles and the vibrations move through Sehun and have him pulling back. _'Nasty?'_ Zitao asks, and rolls off Sehun and onto his back. _ _

___'No.'_ Sehun answers, short and sweet as his hands get to work on running over Zitao's stomach again, heading south. Zitao watches Sehun's pale skin on his abs, watches his delicate fingers curl around his cock. _ _

__Zitao's breath hitches and Sehun watches his lips part, his adam's apple bob. He moves after a few strokes, and settles between Zitao's legs. He opens his mouth and his tongue licks over the head of Zitao's cock._ _

__Zitao's toes curl without his control. And when Sehun, with a hand still stroking slowly over his cock, sinks his mouth down as well, he groans. His hand and his mouth are connecting in the middle, out of sync in the best way possible._ _

__Zitao's head falls back and Sehun takes that as permission to move faster, mouth a bit too wet but cheeks hollowed out and tight against Zitao's cock. Sehun's mouth is so smooth, so hot._ _

__Zitao, embarrassingly enough, doesn't last long. He tugs on Sehun's hair to give him a warning since a verbal one won't work, but Sehun only digs his tongue under the head._ _

__Zitao loses it. Sehun coughs in surprise, Zitao's cum dribbling down his chin. Zitao has to close his eyes, he can't take the sight._ _

__After a few moments, he feels Sehun tap his stomach, and his eyes fall on Sehun, face now clean, then drop to his hands. _'Can I kiss you?'_ Sehun asks._ _

__Zitao nods. Even if he tastes like Zitao's release, Zitao would never, ever not kiss Sehun. Sehun's kiss is slow and languid. Sweet. Zitao tries to put every emotion he feels into it._ _

__He doesn't want to push Sehun, of course not, so when they pull away, Zitao tucks Sehun, still naked, against his chest and kisses his shoulder._ _

__Sehun's eyes are already closed when Zitao pulls the covers over them. Easy breathing, a soft smile. The feeling in Zitao's chest as he watches Sehun sleep peacefully feels a lot like love._ _


End file.
